You are Barack Obama, and you know how to party, as for the people of the Gulf Coast: Let them eat tar balls.

So many parties, so little time.

You are Barack Obama, and you know how to party. And now, as oil hits the Florida beaches and dying wildlife and desperate Louisiana fishermen fill the cable news in searing testimony to what Reuters is calling our "worst environmental disaster," you are doing what you do best...party.

Your bureaucrats have been saying "No we can't" to request after request for assistance along the Gulf Coast, but for you it has been "Yes we can" as you spend taxpayer dollars on entertainment at a greater rate than any U.S. president. Your parties have averaged one every three days and your vacations seem endless as you've satisfied the vow of your former social secretary to bring "the same kind of [party] environment" you had in Chicago to the White House.

You weren't known for your attention to business in the Illinois state senate, but, as one friend said about you and Michelle, "if there was a party or an event, they were there." And as little as you did in the Illinois and the U.S. senates, you've been doing even less in the Gulf, notes radio host Hugh Hewitt.

Even Politico, a part of the Washington Post all-Barack-all-the-time media empire, says you are "failing the test of leadership" with your obvious distaste for getting your hands dirty. And the ubiquitous Dick Morris flatly states the emerging consensus: Our "president doesn't have a clue" when he steps off the dance floor.

You're Barack Obama, and you're not the first black president (Bill Clinton beat you to it), the first incompetent president (Jimmy Carter was there for us in the modern era), or the first professor president (Woodrow Wilson brought his Princeton University-blessed master race theories to the White House). But you are the first party president, with more social affairs than any White House in the nation's history. "Party on" was the way WorldNet Daily described it; another summed it up in a headline, "Obama During Oil Spill -- Golf, Parties, Photo-Ops...and More Golf!" 

With George and Martha looking down from their framed perches on the walls of the stately East Room, you've turned the White House into "a showcase of glitzy extravagance." Welcome to Barack Obama's Animal House...er, National Lampoon's White House...no, let's get this straight, Barack Obama's White House. 

You have created a world of lavish galas, of black ties and celebrity chefs, of "star-studded" guest lists, celebrated by the admiring Washington Post as a return to "Camelot, the Big Myth, the story of American royalty[.]" You are for the media elites "Camelot's new knight" in "shining armor," and, together with Michelle, you are royalty bringing this dreary republic "a palace of sunshine." (Continues here)